6 Ways To Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers

How do you nurture the social-emotional development of preschoolers and help protect their emotional health? Guard their hearts.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23 NLT

This is a powerful example of how important you are in their lives. Think about it, the heart determines the course of their life. What you pour in their little hearts now, and what they store in it, will determine the course of their life. Whew!

I realize that the world’s problems are not ALL solved in a preschool classroom, but it sure evens out the odds. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again – ‘YOU ARE IMPORTANT!’

What Does It Mean To Guard The Hearts Of Your Students?

Here are my thoughts on this future generation that you are helping to raise. Let’s face it, you see them more than most of their parents. What a prime time to change this generation for good!

Let’s start with the word “GUARD”. According to Google Dictionary, the word guard means:

1. to watch over in order to protect
2. to protect against damage or harm

As teachers, it is imperative that we keep this in mind AT ALL TIMES! Make a sign and post it to remind you that this is your #1 job.

In my class, I always tell my kiddos, “My job is to keep you safe, and your job is . . .” and then they yell back, “to keep it that way!” They know what my #1 is job is and how they can do their part to help. They know that as a class, we are a community where we watch out for each other.

The Painful Truth About Our Words

Before we dive into some practical steps, I want to tell you a story. Recently I wrote a post about teaching values and character to your students.

I hinted about a time when a teacher used words that made me feel worthless, shamed, and to this day, feel stupid.

I am a grown adult, and I still feel the words that were spoken. The fact that I am writing about it on a blog for the world to see is very difficult. Yet, I don’t want you to make a mistake that will forever change the way a child feels about themselves.

This is a heartfelt, sincere plea for you to hear and understand the impact you have on your students.

WHAT IS YOUR FIRST MEMORY OF SCHOOL?

Stop and really think hard right now. Just think back as far as you can.

Have you stopped? Seriously. Stop right now and think.

My first memory is Kindergarten. My teacher yelled at me for doing an art project wrong. An art project! I know it’s not catastrophic but IT IS my first memory. I don’t remember learning how to read or write, but I remember being yelled at. I remember feeling anxious in her class because she always seemed cranky and yelling at everyone. I remember thinking that I wasn’t good enough. I focused all my energy on not getting yelled at instead of learning.

What will your students REMEMBER about you?

Fast forward to high school. I was a top student. I got straight A’s, was 3rd in my class, and yet one day will forever be seared in my brain as me feeling stupid by a teacher.

My best friend and I dropped out of an upper-level math class on the last day we could switch. I didn’t need it to graduate, I was having trouble understanding it anyways (I teach preschool math for a reason) and I didn’t want to drop my GPA.

My principal, yes, I said principal, walked into class, called me and my friend up to the front, put his arm around each of us in a sidearm “hug”, made us face our classmates, and announced in front of everyone that:

It was an uncomfortable silence as I stood there with tears running down my cheeks in front of everyone. I knew I was smart, but this man destroyed all of my hard work and success with one sentence.

This is what drives me to be the best teacher I can be. I don’t want another child to feel unworthy or stupid.

What drives you to be a teacher? Do you have a story that plays on repeat in your head?

It’s important to guard your student’s hearts. Here’s are 6 ways to make that happen.

6 Ways To Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers To Guard Their Hearts

1. Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers By WATCHING YOUR TONE.

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating. The tone in which you say things matters. A lot. Screaming gets my defense mechanisms up. I personally retreat into myself when there is yelling. I always have. Yelling is not a way to get me to do something. It’s the same with children.

To nurture the social-emotional development of preschoolers requires a soothing, calming, voice. If you need to be loud, be loud without screaming. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. Alternate whispering (it catches their interest), regular tones, and loud(ish) tones if needed, just make sure they are not harsh.

I personally, and again, it’s me personally, work better in an environment where there is mutual respect. You respect me, I respect you. You respect the kids as individuals who are little humans that make mistakes, they will respect you as a grown-up who makes mistakes.

2. Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers By WATCHING YOUR WORDS .

Words matter. Choose them wisely.

Again, kids model what they hear. They will repeat your words back to you. Break the cycle of hurtful words. Our little slice of the world in our classroom should be an oasis of safety and peace.

For every one negative, you need 10 positive affirmations to counteract it. 10!!!!!! Even with that, there are still many emotional scars that kids (and adults) carry around. Nurture their social-emotional development by not letting your words be the cause of one of those scars.

3. Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers By WATCHING YOUR ACTIONS.

Actions speak louder than words is a true statement, especially when it comes to kids. Actions are as important as the words you say and how you say them. Nurturing their social-emotional development should always be at the forefront of your teaching because I promise you, they will model what you do and how you act.

Watching your actions is twofold:

1. How do you look towards them?
2. How do you act towards them?

Look in the mirror. What is your face saying? Are you smiling? Frowning? Ignoring? Scowling? Distracted? Does your body language scream “STAY AWAY” and your arms crossed? Or are you inviting, approachable, where kids gravitate to you because they know you are a safe place with love to share?

What actions do your students see? Are you abrupt? Rude? Angry? Quick-tempered? Are you focused on a few students and ignore the rest? Try to spend an equal amount of time with each. If you are only playing with the “good students” then the “troublemakers” (FYI- I can’t stand labels) will think they are not worthy of your attention. If the only attention they can get from you is when they act up, then that pattern will be on repeat.

Hear me out. There are not trouble makers. There are trouble-takers. They take the negativity and environment they are in, internalize it, and repeat what they see. What you pour out comes back to you.

If that’s the case, pour in more love and positivity than you expect them to give back and you will see a change.

If they see you working to build an honest relationship with them, they will surprise you by wanting to genuinely make you proud. It will be hard at first. They will fight you. They will watch your actions to see if you are sincere and consistent before they trust you and decide if you are worth the effort.

Kids act out for a reason and preschoolers will demand your attention. Little gestures like giving them a smile, a hug, or a high five can make an impression that can change their attitude and give them some of the attention they crave.

4. Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers By TEACHING THE GOLDEN RULE

I have one rule in my class. That’s it. One.

It all comes down to this: “treat others the way you want to be treated”.

This Golden Rule includes:

1. How they treat others,
2. How they treat themselves,
3. How they treat me,
4. How I treat them.

When you explain how THEIR ACTIONS AFFECT THEMSELVES and OTHERS then you only need this one rule.

They will naturally begin to understand with some practice. Ask them to think, “Will this hurt myself or others?” For instance:

THE RULE: Listen to the teacher turns into- “It hurts my feelings when others don’t listen to me, so I will look at them when they are talking to show I care about them.”

THE RULE: No running in class turns into -“I might hurt myself or others if I run in class. Running is for outside where there is lots of room.”

THE RULE: No hitting turns into – “Hitting hurts. I don’t like to be hurt, so I don’t want to hurt my friends.”

Give them the tools and opportunity to learn and practice. You can’t expect them to know what to do. You have to teach them. They need daily, hourly, sometimes by-the-minute reminders.

Practical Ways To Teach The Golden Rule

• The Best Way To Teach The Golden Rule Is To Model It.

• Roleplay is another great way to teach the Golden Rule. Have kids act out a “what not to do” versus a “what to do” scenario. Ask questions. Is this the right way to treat our friends? Is there a better way we can handle this situation? What would you do if this happened? You probably need to tell them what to say when acting it out, otherwise, you might get some colorful language. I know this from experience. 🙂

For instance, bring two kids up in front of the class. Tell them, “We are going to act out the right way (thumbs up) and the wrong way (thumbs down) to handle a problem.

Have one of them pretend to fall on the ground (or some other instance). Tell the other child to walk by and laugh. You say, ‘This is what we SHOULD NOT do. Give a thumbs down. When someone gets hurt, we should help. Now let’s rewind and try again the right way.”

Have them walk backward like they are rewinding the scenario. You will get some laughs and it will keep their attention. Then have the same child walk and fall down again. This time, have the other child walk by, stop, ask if they are ok, and help them up. You say “Give a thumbs up. This is what we SHOULD DO.”

• Utilize books that show ways to treat each other. Kids can act out the story. Vanderbilt’s Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations For Early Learning also has a comprehensive book list. Check it out here.

• If your school allows, teach Bible verses on how to treat others. I have a whole done-for-you list that is practical, easy to understand, and full of action that keeps kids engaged. It’s good for adults, too. If you do not want to teach Bible verses, you can still teach the concepts like being patient, using kind words, love one another, etc.

• Use real-life situations to teach a better way to handle a conflict. If something happens in class, help students work together to find a solution. Don’t expect them to have perfect behavior without teaching them how.

• Focus on ONE behavior you want to see changed per week. No more. If you want kindness, bring it up in constant conversation. Acknowledge it when you see it. Say, “I see how you helped him pick up his crayons that he dropped. Thank you for being kind and stopping what you were doing to help.”

Don’t we all just want to be loved and accepted? Treat them as such.

5. Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers By TEACHING SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL SKILLS

“When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.”

-Fred Rogers

This goes along with #4 and #6, but it is worth its own category. Not only is Social/Emotional skills extremely important, in most state standards it is mandated. There is a reason it is required on your lesson plan. It works. The challenge comes with implementing it.

Help children find their emotions before they grow up and lose them altogether.

Teaching kids what their emotions are should be first. Then once they have identified how they are feeling, you can provide steps to help them handle it. Here are two previous posts where I discuss more detail about teaching social-emotional skills and coping skills when they feel out of control:

Volumes of books are written on this subject. I am merely skimming the surface. More posts will be coming soon with specific activities I use in the classroom to teach this. I think it will really help you. It has helped my class for sure.

Here is the progression we use to teach social/emotional skills.

• We Learn It
  • Throughout the day, in centers, small groups, playtime, whenever, use these opportunities to learn the different emotions and feelings they may encounter daily.
• We Identify It
  • When a situation occurs, say, “Tell me how you are feeling?” to help THEM identify their emotion. They might say, “I’m angry!”.
  • Or if they are having trouble identifying it, you can offer suggestions like, “Are you feeling angry?” This is to make sure that the correct emotion is being felt and it helps them put into words what they are feeling.
• We Acknowledge It
  • This is huge. Kids want to be heard when something happens to them, when they are not, they tend to act out. Validate their feelings. Say, “I see you are feeling angry because she knocked your block tower down”. You acknowledged their feelings as well as the incident.
  • Also, help ALL participants involved. Ask why she knocked it down. She might say she was nervous because he was too close. In that case, say, “And she felt nervous when you got too close to her.” This validates feelings on both sides.
• We Fix It
  • Remind them that everyone is responsible for their own actions and choices. Ask each child if they can think of a way to fix the problem.
  • If they can’t or won’t, help them along with something like, “When he gets too close, use your words and ask him nicely to please not step where you are playing. If you get angry, what should you do instead of knocking his tower down?” Remind her of using her words and breathing exercises.
  • To him, say, “When you are playing, you need to watch out for others so you don’t accidentally step on them. We have to watch out for others when we are playing.”
  • And to both of them ask, ” How can we work TOGETHER to make our community happy again?”
  • Advise them on apologizing for their part in the offense and suggest they build the tower back together.

Click here for a download of Steps To Teach Social-Emotional Skills.

6. Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers By DEVELOPING A CLASSROOM COMMUNITY.

This is a game-changer. If you teach your students that they belong to a community and are an active part of it, their whole mindset changes. Tell them that a community is like a family.

Everyone belongs and has an important part.

Here are a few ways to make that happen:

• Give your class a name (mine is the Giraffes) and decorate your room accordingly.
• Make up a silly song or chant about your class (it can also be an attention-getter). Try “piggyback songs” if you are not musically talented (i.e changing lyrics to a familiar tune).
• Promote togetherness and repeat often how you want them to act in the community, (“Giraffes help each other. We are a team. We are a family.”)
• Go on field trips or have special days just for your class that will create bonding experiences.
• Have a service project at your school (clean up the playground, wash toys, etc.) that only your class does.
• Give everyone a weekly job to do and then rotate. (Line leader, caboose, greeter, flag holder, bell ringer, center helper, teacher helper, etc.) You can even pick one person to all the jobs for a day and then the next day someone else can. Just make sure you have a system to check who has and who hasn’t participated.
  • My favorite job is the “Happy Helper”. Their job is to watch out for others who are sad. They provide hugs, laughs, high fives, fist bumps, or just a friend to play with. It’s amazing how fast they learn to watch for and how to help their classmates.
• Have a special hand signal or sign that you use to greet each other.
• Play games that involve teamwork.
• Encourage each other on their successes. For example, when someone learns to write their name for the first time, I stand on my chair and yell, “Ladies and gentleman! I have an announcement to make. Today __________ learned to write their name!” The class stops, claps and cheers, and then I do a silly, happy dance while singing a song I made up about learning to write their name. They love to sing with me, they love it when it happens to them, and it creates an encouraging community. Win. Win. Win.

Remember These Practical Steps:

Our #1 job is to keep them safe. So to recap, here are 6 steps to nurture their social-emotional development and guard their hearts so they CAN feel safe:

1. Watch Your Tone.
2. Watch Your Words.
3. Watch Your Actions.
4. Teach the Golden Rule.
5. Teach Social and Emotional Skills
6. Develop a Classroom Community.

So take a deep breath.

Guard their hearts and minds. Protect these precious children.

The future is in your classroom. Use these 6 Ways To Nurture The Social-Emotional Development Of Preschoolers to make a difference!

Here are some great articles that will provide additional resources:

Teachingstrategies.com 5 Ways To Support Social-Emotional Development in Early Childhood

Weareteachers.com 15 Essential SEL Activities For Preschool and Kindergarten

Psychologytoday.com Why Child’s Social-Emotional Skills Are So Important

Check out more resources below!

I am new to the blogging world, but I am not new to teaching. If you are interested in starting your own teacher blog like I am, check out kaysemorris.com/blogpost. She will show you the way!

If you are looking for an awesome set of guidelines to teach Pre-K, check out this post at relatetoeducate.com

If you are interested in play-based learning and how it can help you, check out this post at creamcityteacher.com

If you are looking for quick language activities for early childhood, check out this post at autismlittlelearners.com

If you would like to have a copy of the Bible verses I use, or if you have any questions on ways I can help you, send me an email at holley@preschoolsos.com